Tortillas!!!

Perfectly cooked!

 

It gets a bad name....

I love tortillas!!  So we buy a bunch of tortillas.  I lived in San Antonio for a long time when I was a kid and maybe that where my love for em came from.  I remember going to Taco Cabana and seeing the tortilla machine they had there, Market Square in San Antonio had ladies sitting there just making tortilla after tortilla.  The fresh ones are always the best too, a piping hot tortilla straight out of the pan with butter......  Damn.  So the last time we went to the store I told the old lady to grab some.  We were looking at prices, I always grab the cheapest ones.  Why not, right?  They all taste the same really.  We usually get a 20 or 25 pack, the more the more savings usually.  I told her to only  pick up a 10 pack this time.  Then I went over and got some lard.  I know.   Nasty huh?  but I tell you, for some applications, lard is the way to go.  I tried butter, crisco, olive oil, and regular oil.  Lard is best.  and cheap.  Like 2 bucks for a container, and this is the only reason I use it, so it lasts awhile.  So use what you got, but get some lard and try it.  These.  Are.  So.  Easy.  Lets get right into it.

Tortillas

Makes 8, EASY recipe to double, triple, whatever....

2 Cups of Flour

1 Teaspoon of Salt

3 Tablespoons of Lard

3/4 Cup of Water

I don't sift anymore!!

So easy, mix the salt and flour.  Add the lard, and I have a trick for this.  Take your tablespoon and run it under hot water, spoon out the lard, cut scape off the top with the back of a butter knife run under the hot water, quickly drop in the flour.  Getting the lard out of the spoon without doing this is a sticky 

Mixing

mess.  Just try both ways and tell me which is best.  Mine is.  add the water, none of this slow stuff like some people say to do.  Just dump that shit in.  Mix it all up with a rubber spatula.  Mix and mix.  When its well mixed, spray some Crisco spray or Pam on your hands and coat well.  Knead the hell out of it.  Plop the dough onto a lightly floured surface.  Knead it some more.  Roll into a tube of dough.  I have a little half moon looking thing that looks like a little knife and I use this to cut the dough up.  Cut the tube in half, then cut in half again, and cut in half again.  Make 8 pieces.  Re-flour the surface.  Take each ball of dough individually and smoosh it down and flip it over, smoosh it down again, this gets it into a rough round shape and coats each side with a light coating of flour.  I use a rolling pin, but you can use a wine bottle or large can, and roll that motherfuckin dough out!!  Roll and roll until you get at least a ROUGH circle shape.  Not as easy as it sounds, but practice makes perfect, or at least passable.  Ok, two options here.

Ball o' Dough

1.  Cook it!!
Heat up a larger teflon coated pan or skillet to medium high heat.  Put the uncooked tortilla on it.  I like to shake the pan quite a bit.  flip it over.  Do it again.  You want them to look LIGHT brown, and not all over, really just on the bubbles.  Too hot and they will be to hard, too long and they will be to hard, too low is better, cause you can always pump up the heat when you get comfortable.  Take off and serve immediately.  I haven't found a way to keep these well after cooked.  You gotta eat em!!

2.  Save em.

Makes clean-up easier.  I promise

So this is my method for saving em.  I make a batch and roll em out.  Then I layer them uncooked tortilla, cling wrap. uncooked tortilla, cling wrap.  You get the idea.  Then I just refrigerate them.  I haven't tried freezing.  Will let you know.  They really don't last long here.  They are so easy to take out and cook one up, throw some home made jam on that SOB.  Damn.

Listening to
M.I.A.
Come Around

Indian chicks, they get men laid

Milk and honey, smoke high-grade

Gold and diamond, gems and jade